21 June 2012

The road that takes us back

So, as I mentioned...about a year ago (shame face), I wanted to write more.  Mostly for me, maybe for profit if I can get my act together.  And despite my terrible blogging capabilities, I have done just that.  For now I'm doing mostly essay style writing.  Observations, moments, feelings, that sort of thing.  I went to Omaha a few weeks ago which is a city I will always have a soft spot for.  It was the first place I really made "mine".  I went there for school knowing no one and nothing about the city aside from the College World Series and the zoo.  It was a great trip where I got to see old friends, visit old haunts and see how the city I love is changing.  Sitting by the river the day I drove back this is what came to me.

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I've walked the path down memory lane and I have returned renewed.  It's not a journey I make often, if ever.  You hear stories about those who took the walk and never returned.  They are content to live in static moments where laughter sounds silent and the salty tears are dry.  The ones who don't come back up the road live in a still-life dream, surrounded by ghosts both good and evil; light and dark.

I took the journey but kept the phantoms at arms length.  I looked through the windows at some of the happiest times in my life.  And unlike others who have come this way, I did not wish to go back.  I see now why I had those moments and how they've led to my current reality.

The best is yet to come.  At least that's what they tell me.  And I believe them.  Looking at these freeze frames of the past gives me hope.  Despite my given state, as hard as it can appear, there is promise.  These moments of my life do not display the sum total joy of my existence.  I have a full and beautiful life ahead of me.  If greater happiness still lies further down the path of reality than I can anticipate an adventure far greater than any I have yet undertaken.

To those who sit stagnant, holding old memories tightly, it's like standing in a stream.  You may remain fixed but the world is rushing by.  In order to reap the full measure of happiness it is important to stay often in the moment and follow the current.  Because the unknown ahead is a far greater enterprise than the known behind.


28 August 2011

Galway Girl

Continuation of the experiment: Destination Exercise

Galway, Ireland

For many visiting this quaint seaside town the first place to experience is Eyre Square, the gateway to The City of Tribes.  This is modern Ireland.  A large green, contemporary sculptures, and a pay-to-go toilet box.  This picture may not be what these newly arrived explorers were expecting.  Where are the cobbled roads?  Where are the thatched roofs?  But like many cities of this old country the past is not so far away.  It only requires your feet and curiosity to get you there.

Jutting off one corner and the Irish adventurer is exactly in the place he imagined.  There are people walking casually through the streets, trying to decide which chip shop to have lunch in.  A truly daunting task given that it's not far to the place where the fish itself was even caught.  There are brightly colored facades lining both sides of the lane with everything from jewelry to instruments, art to literature.  The lucky trekkers will find the sweet shop that makes tarts bigger than your hand.  Oh those are the lucky ones indeed.

Surprisingly often the day is sunny.  At least it's not raining.  Full sun may be wishful thinking.  The Irish have mastered the art of persevering despite less than idyllic weather and so it's easy to take their cue.  But who needs sun when there are street performers, a fiddler and a flute, bobbing their heads to the tune they make?  Next to the statue of Oscar Wilde and Eduard Vilde is a young man and an easel.  He is capturing the image of the street before him in beautiful acrylic.  Between the music and the painter who can blame Wilde and Vilde for selecting such choice seats?  Pull up a chair in the cafe nearby and the explorer can share that same vision that they see.

The best of all days are market days.  Peek over the authors' shoulders and the astute observer sees, tucked between two rows of buildings, canopies.  This is when adventurers leave Shop Street.  And yes, that is what it is actually called.  No reason to beat around the bush when it comes to giving names to things here.  Now they come down Church Street which is equally aptly named.  On another day this is probably nothing more than a nondescript ally running behind the Church of St. Nicholas.  On market days, however, it is filled with people, looking at shiny, pretty things and drinking freshly steeped cider.  There are fresh flowers and fish sitting in ice staring up at the passing crowd.  Any foodie or lover of local things would think they'd just stepped into the holy land. What could be richer than this?

All of a sudden, without much realization of how it happened, the Claddagh Quay fills the view.  Anyone who has ever opened a guidebook or picked up a calendar of Ireland would recognize it.  It's Galway Harbor, the place where the River Corrib empties to the vast North Atlantic.  And it is one of the most spectacular things one will ever see.  Take a quiet moment and walk along the shoreline and out to the lighthouse.  Smell the salt.  Listen to the waves and feel the biting wind whip your hair in circles.  It's possible to sit here for ages, looking across the vastness and getting lost in thought.  For some reason, sitting there, the curtain to the past seems very thin.  Perhaps it is because this is Gaeltacht, a region where the Irish language can be easily heard and is understood by many.  Maybe it's the call of Tafee's Pub with its trad band pounding out the songs that never die.  Songs of sailors that left this place and never returned.  The one who truly allows himself will feel more alive, more connected to their roots, and even more prepared to see what else this ancient country has to offer.


15 August 2011

An experiment

So, it's been an embarrassingly long time since I've written.  It's not for lack of interesting things in my life.  Maybe more of a lack of knowing how to accurately put it all into words.  But I decided that I didn't want this blog to just be a hat tip to the ol' Livejournal where you, the reader, are subjected to all the boring little things and itty bitty details in my life.  This was and is intended to be a place where I try to relearn what I once loved to do, writing.

I used to do it all the time.  Filled notebook upon notebook with stories, poems, song lyrics (don't ask) and idle thoughts.  Over time I got busy.  I picked an academic area that, though I love it, is not much on the creative side.  Rather than search for time outside of my education to do those creative things I loved I let it die.  It's sad when that happens.  The talent and passion I once had sits there dusting next to my violin and wrench.  The wasteland of things I once did and now don't nearly do enough.

These past few weeks has been my revival, my renaissance period.  I helped backstage for the area YSA Broadway review.  I picked up my violin and played for awhile.  When no one was around to hear how terrible I've gotten, obviously.  And I started writing more.  School is there, I work and write for that, but in the evening I pull out my big red book and I write.  It's been hard at first because I realized something tragic.  I had nothing to write about.  No stories.  No characters lurking in the back of my brain, creeping into the foreground to be penned.  Nothing.  That was a surprisingly scary feeling.  Something that used to come so easily to me and that I loved to do so much was a strain.  Rather than just sitting down and going to town I had to dig around and figure out what I wanted to write about.  Halley the 15 year old wrote about one thing.  But what does Halley the 25 year old have to say?  How is she going to say it?  What do I love enough to write about?  And then it hit me, traveling.  I spent 5 months traveling all over Ireland and other parts of Europe.  I studied in a different education system.  I flippin' fell in love with an Irishman for crying out loud!  Why had I not written any of this down!  How could I have done this so pivotal period of my life so little justice!  So I dug through the books in the house, knowing there would be help there.  I found some travel books and even a guide to writing travel books well.  And now, I'm writing for me again.  I'm experimenting, I'm exercising, and I'm trying to put those muscle back in shape.  And I can't wait to see what I get. 

Tonight I did an exercise on destination travel writing, giving life and color to a specific place and the specific things that happen there.  I wrote about Galway, a town on the west coast of Ireland butted right up against the Atlantic Ocean.  It's my favorite place in Ireland, and I put it all down on paper.  With some clean up and touch ups I'll put it here.  Feedback appreciated but not required.  And oh there will be more my friends.  I am figuring out who I am and what I love again.  Not likely that is going to end any time soon either.  That corpse pile of forgotten talents was too scary to allow back.

05 October 2010

Taking a breather

Life is a marathon.  Sure, it's hokey, but sometimes after running and running for miles and miles it's time to take a breather.  Give me some bench time Coach, I can't keep up.  I'm not one who easily sits it out or takes those extra minutes in the box.  I feel like slowing down is failing.  Not so my friends, not so.  At least that's what I'm repeatedly telling myself.  I'm working hard and I'm working a lot.  But for what?  What's the point of saving up, hoarding, whatever if once in awhile I don't enjoy it?  There was a talk given by President Thomas S. Monson, prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints entitled "Find Joy in the Journey".  Sure, I'm in transit from somewhere to somewhere else.  But you still have to enjoy the scenery on the way.  In fact, you need to enjoy the scenery along the way if only to maintain sanity.

So here's to cutting loose, not being the "responsible" one (of course, I still plan to behave myself), and living to the fullest.  Life's already started so it's time to start living!  And these are the girls that are going to help me starting this weekend. 


I've had these moments of abandonment, Ireland being one of them.  Craziest thing I ever did.  Learned a lot about myself.  And I had those experiences because I sat one out and had some fun.

Geeze, when did I become a walking cliche? 

11 September 2010

Thinking outside the box

I'm trying to figure out where exactly I'm trying to get to.  It's hard to walk forward when you don't know where you want to end up.  As a result, I find myself looking in the most bizarre places for career ideas.  I legitimately had a moment where I wanted to become a clown with the cirucs.  Would it be cool?   Absolutely.  Is it realistic?  Not a snowballs chance in a warm place. 

There is an idea that I've been seriously kicking around for a while and that's to work for the forestry service.  But for meteorologists they want you to have some kind of experience dealing with wildfires.  And so...I'm thinking about spending this coming summer as a "hot shot" wildfire fighter to get that kind of training.  There's a course being offered over my fall break i in Colorado which would get me certified to do it.  It seems pretty legit, you can check it out.  It would be an expensive experiment, the course is about $390 plus airfare (I'd drive, but it's 11 hours). But what an experience it would be!    Anyone want to come with?

Maybe it's just this throw-caution-to-the-wind phase I'm going through.  Maybe that's how this inbetween time is suppossed to be.  Go big, make mistakes, find out what makes you happy.  So here's to having no idea but being willing to figure it out!

07 September 2010

Reality check

In pursuit of getting somewhere from somewhere else there are moments when one has to realize where their feet are.  I had a high school teacher that would say to us, "Wherever you are, there you are".  I like to think of that as a reality check.

Check #1: College was not easy the first time I did it.  It hasn't gotten any easier in the 2 years I've been away from it.  Check #1.2, it may have actually gotten harder.

Check #2: There are no requirements for where one should be at a certain time in their life.  I would like to believe that at 24 years old I should not be still poor as dirt (slightly above I would hope), single, and living in my parent's basement.  There are no points for getting ahead early, you get there when you get there.

Check #3: Where you are is always going to be more important than where you've been or where you're going.  Because the here and now is the only thing we have any semblance of control over.

Check #4: No matter where you are, make sure you're there with people that have your back and make you laugh.  I know I definately am.